Dealing with Criticism

In the past 14 months, I've endured a little bit of criticism. We weren't welcomed with open arms by churches in our community. There are blogs out there dedicated to tearing down what God is doing in our church (in the name of discernment). And there are people in our community and people that you talk to who do not hate us, but do not understand. I wanted to take a moment and talk about how I deal with this criticism.

1. Understand, we are going to be criticized. It's just going to happen. Sometimes, it will come from the outside...from people who do not know God. Sometimes, it will come from those supposedly on our side. That's the most disheartening thing - when someone who is supposed to believe in and pray to the same God as you and me attacks your motives. Sometimes, the criticism will come indirectly - from rumors and gossip. Like the rumors going around that we don't take up an offering and have to borrow money from other churches to pay staff or that I drank a beer on the stage to prove a point. The fact is, whenever you attempt to do something, there will be people there to criticize. Every great leader in history was criticized.

2. People are going to be against us. They were against Jesus, and He was the Son of God. Whether it's a school board or some other group, there will be people who do not want us to succeed. Amazingly, some other churches will be against us. But that's not our fight. It's not our place to go around and get everyone to be on our side. God will sort things out in the end. Let's just be faithful to what God called us to do and to who God called us to be.

3. Don’t get bogged down in trying to justify things. I had to come to grips with this myself. I had to stop responding to bloggers, who criticize what God is doing at our church from beyond the anonomity of their computer screen. I could literally spend all day trying to justify to people why we do what we do, and if I did that, I would not be doing what God has called me to do. I can quickly tell the difference between someone who is genuinely seeking to understand or has some honest feedback, and an armchair quarterback who thinks they know everything there is to know about the vast mind and will of God. My advice to all Oak Leaf people is not to go to these discernment sites and get dragged into idle, godless talk. I used to go read them for entertainment value, but I'd get tempted to get sucked into worthless debates. Now, I don't visit these sites and I don't care at all what they have to say. I'm a much better person because I refuse to hang around with hateful, hurtful people. Dr. Phil would be proud. :)

4. Don’t give credence to anonymous comments. Just delete them or ignore them. If someone is not man or woman enough to sign their name, then you don't want to hear from them. If you send me an anonomous e-mail or blog comment, it goes directly to the trash. Same goes for letters and phone calls that come from people like this. There used to be a lady in Cartersville that would comment on one of these sites and I'd try to answer her questions, but she would never tell me who she is. That's a weak person who only wants to argue and spread gossip and rumors in the name of Christianity.

5. Consider the source. Receiving counsel and instruction is wise. Proverbs is filled with admonitions like this. There have been many people that care about me who have pointed out something that caused me to altar my path. We should be quick to listen to people that know us, that have our back, and that want the best for us. There's a big difference in criticism from people you know and people that you don't know. I surround mysef with people that will often tell me what I need to hear (not what I want to hear). Every week in staff meeting, we pick things apart...not because we're being critical, but because we want to be better. As our church gets bigger, there will be people on the fringe that have better ways to do thing. I always say that the complaint box is located at the back of the box truck that we unload every Sunday morning. When these committed people, who sacrifice and give and lead in our church, offer suggestions and constructive criticism, you better believe that I listen.

6. Remember the Lord and remember the vision. When the outsiders came to Nehemiah and attacked him, Nehemiah told people to "remember the Lord." Satan wants to sidetrack, but we must remain focused. We can't spend all our time chasing rabbits that we forget what we're hunting for in the first place. We came to Cartersville to lead people from where they are to where God wants them to be. I don't really care if I get invited to speak at some giant pastor's conference - this is my mission field. I'm not here to win favor in the eyes of other pastors or website operators, I'm trying to please Jesus and help people follow Him. When you feel the heat from people attacking our church, think of all the changed lives. Think of all God has done. Remember His faithfulness.

7. Some things are not worth your time. Responding to every critic and dealing with every criticism that comes your way is not a good use of your time. If you go to Oak Leaf Church, you may come into contact with people who absolutely hate our church.  You'll be able to tell pretty quickly if it's a discussion worth having. You're not going to convince everyone that what we are doing is of God, and that's okay. Jesus was 100% God and everybody wasn't on board with His mission.

If you're going to be a leader, then that means you're going to be out front.  And being out front makes you a target.

Comments

[Scott]

Thanks for writing this post. Two nights ago (Tuesday night), after we finished our Tuesday night worship gatheing called Transition, I was feeling seriously depressed. We are starting a new ministry within our established church. The church has been here for 10 years, but has never really had a ministry for young adults. It's mainly been focused on families with children. So, Boyd (www.boydbettis.com) and I (www.readscott.com) thought that we'd start this ministry to reach those folks. No problem, right?
Well, we've been hitting some quiet opposition. The opposition isn't outright and outloud. It'd be easier to deal with if it were outloud. The opposition is quiet, like you spoke about in this post.
ANYWAY, I needed to hear this because I'm young and ready to pounce on opposition. However, you reminded me that pouncing isn't the way to deal with opposition. That staying focused on the vision of reaching takes presidence over pouncing. Thanks.

[Kaylynn]

You may not believe this is coming from me, but, a wise man once told me that when some one is talking bad about you, live where no one will believe them! The love and forgiveness of christ is what people need....who cares what any one says if you are in the will of God.

[Rick]

Perfect and timely article. I underlined and highlighted so many sentences, your blog now looks like one of my favorite passages in Psalms! Thanks for the encouragement. #5 is right on: let those who are committed have a say and respect their input. The unfaithful always have so much advice on how to make things better. I honestly want to say, "Hey, that's a great idea! If you had been here in the last few weeks you would see we've been doing that." :) Thanks, again. (Lord, help us to overcome our bitterness and get our focus on you.)