You Can Know God

Florida State vs. Florida

I'm going to the FSU vs UF game in Gainsville today. Anthony said that as long as I am with a Florida fan, I will not get beer or insults thrown at me while walking around the stadium. But I should not wander off on my own.

Speaking of the Seminoles, it appears that a few years ago we had good players but bad coaches. Now we have good coaches and not so much on the players. I think we are a head coach (Bobby needs to retire and FSU should steal Mark Richt from Georgia) and a top QB recruit away from competing seriously - but the FSU program will one day rise again.

I think going to this game is kind of like being a missionary. First, I'm the holy one going into the pagan culture of the University of Florida. I'll do my best to help these sinners see the errors of their ways and repent.

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm in Florida with my family - we're visiting my parents and my wife's parents.  One thanksgiving dinner yesterday, and another one today.  In anticipation of eating too many desserts, I tried to run this morning, but it started raining.

It's pretty cool for my kids to be able to visit both sets of grandparents here in Jacksonville.  I like this city, and I'm glad I got to come down for a visit.   For those of you that might be checking in this holiday season, Happy Thanksgiving.  And no matter what, don't be one of those crazy people and go shopping at 4 am tomorrow.  They have this thing called the Internet where you can buy stuff in the middle of the day.

Dad Day

My wife is away with some other staff wives on a "retreat," which means shopping, eating out and not doing dishes, and going to get manicures or something.  I'm home with our three kids.  Since it's just me and Matthew right now, we're cleaning out the garage.  Then, I'm going to clean out the kids playroom, throwing away any toys that have more than five pieces.

When I was a kid, I played with dirt and a cardboard box.  I've always wanted to say that.  There, now I feel better.

Random Thoughts on a Friday

I'm taking a break from the Friday five because I have more thoughts than that today.

1. Someone stole my wallet last month and I had to replace all my credit cards. I had my social security card in there (I know you're not supposed to do that).


2. I apparently lost my wallet when I was 16, because last year, someone found it and mailed it to my house. They found it in the attic of some church. So, my social security card was replaced by a previous version.


3. Heroes is the only show I'm really watching on TV right now. It's finally getting good.


4. I watched 2 hours of The Biggest Loser with my wife the other night. I cannot stand reality TV shows.


5. My sister thinks they should put a drive thru window at the post office. I don't really know why we still have the post office.


6. We're going to start a Sunday night service in a local bar early next year.   I think we've just found the place.  We'll kick it off with a super bowl party and start meeting there on Sunday nights the very next week. I'm really excited about this and will talk about it a lot more later.


7. We need to find some land or a building, and figure out a way to buy it. I'm still praying some crazy prayers about this.  If you have a 25,000 square foot building with plenty of parking, let me know! :)


8. I'm going to Jacksonville next week for Thanksgiving. And attending the Florida - Florida State game with Anthony. I hope Florida loses but I'm pretty sure they wont. Gator fans are obnoxious.

Real Confessions

I made a couple of funny confession videos to go along with the series, but I wanted to be serious for a moment and talk about some of the things that go on inside my head as a real pastor of a church plant. I know a lot of people that work in churches think about planting a church, but you probably wouldn't want my job.

Every Sunday, I wonder if people will show up. I know I shouldn't worry about it, but I do. I wonder if making a move miles across town was the right thing to do. I wonder if too many people are leaving because of our kids policy. I wonder why someone visits but doesn't stay. I wonder if we're even going to come close to filling up the auditorium. I wonder if people care enough to show up when it's cold. Or if the weather is too nice and people might decide to go to the lake.

Every week, I wonder if the offering will be enough. We do a time of giving every week and I know it takes $11,000 a week to pay the bills. God's been good to us so far, but I still have wimpy faith sometimes. I know we're not paying some of our staff what they deserve. I feel pressure to take care of them and their families, and not abuse them just because they work for a church. And then I worry that we're spending people's hard-earned money in the best way possible.

We have some great people on staff, but I feel a weight on my shoulders for their ministries. Sometimes, I can't sleep at night because my mind goes so fast. Most mornings, I wake up before 5 am just thinking about something. I wonder how we can get people into small groups. I wonder about how we can reach children and students for Jesus and keep them, because I know the stats say they will leave the church when they graduate. I think about all those prayer requests that we showed on the screen and realize that people are hurting and need God. You know how a parent feels the weight for their children; to some degree, I feel like that with 700 people.

I think about the 60,000 people that don't go to church, and I'm thinking of what we should do to reach them. I'm happy we've grown, but I could care less about how big our church gets. I just want people to meet Jesus. I wonder what we should be doing outreach wise to reach these people.

I wonder if we're doing the right things. Part of me feels like a construction worker who build his own house brick by brick. This is God's church of course, but we were here from the beginning. It's like starting a business - you pour your heart and soul into it and it just means a little more. Starting a car dealership is probably a little different from just working at one. There's more weight.

I feel this huge responsibility to hear from God (through prayer and reading the Bible) so when I stand up on Sunday mornings, I'm not just blabbing about some pop psychology or the latest trick of the trade. I want Oak Leaf Church to follow God, not just listen to what I say. It bothers me that people don't always understand I can't sit in some meetings or have lunch, because I take my message prep time pretty seriously.

I work really hard on a message, and I know that people are getting fed and critiquing at the same time. I know how movie makers must feel when they send their films off to the critics for review. Or how an artist feels when she paints a picture and hangs it in a gallery for the first time. Some people examine my every word for accuracy or intent. Some bloggers watch the messages, not to learn something about God, but to alert their followers about the latest false teachings.

I have at least 5 major decisions in my head right now. Everything from meeting locations,to staff, to ministry initiatives. Big things that are really important. Things that could set the direction of our church in a huge way, or trip us up. And sometimes, it's hard to tell the difference between the two.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. And maybe it's only other pastors who can identify with this. I am so thankful for my job and I wouldn't trade it for the world. These are just some of the things I think about.

My Wife

My beautiful wife just turned 31 years old. She's a great mom and a great wife. And she's good-looking.  Some interesting tidbits of info on the love of my life.

• She graduated from UNF with a degree in Health Science. I still don't know what that is.


• We went to the same church growing up, but we didn't know each other.  It was a big church.


• She cooks some good stuff.  Her vegetable soup is great.  Yesterday she made some cranberry nut bread that was great.


• However, she tried to make some fruit smoothie thing with strawberries, bananas, spinach and broccoli that was flat out disgusting. I give her props for trying to get the kids to eat vegetables, but I'm not buying it.


• She is right at five feet tall.  All three of our kids are short.


• She knocked the mirror off of the Explorer last week.  About a month ago, a guy sideswiped her.  We were thinking of trading in the Explorer, but now it's been in too many wrecks.  Oh well.  It's just metal and plastic.


• She is a blogger.  And she uses a Mac.

Ranking the Candy

My neighborhood is a circus on halloween - there are people with haunted houses, hay rides, decorated golf carts, and an insane amount of kids. I started with about $40 worth of candy in a giant bowl. When it was said and done...all gone. My kids ended up with the same quantity, but the quality suffered. Here's what I am talking about...

10. I don't think this candy has a name. But this crap in the orange and black wrappers has to be the worst candy ever. I cannot believe people still give it out.

9. This would be the worst, were it not for #10. If you gave out any of these, you should really be embarrassed.

8. Dum Dums are okay, providing that you give out a handful and not just one.

7. Hershey Minatures are good. I usually steal a few of these from my kids.

6. Tootsie Rolls seems to be Halloween staples. They shall always remain a mid-level favorite.

5. This little orange glow bracelet doesn't really qualify as candy, but gets a higher ranking for originality. My little kids liked them.

4. Snickers. I actually took most of the Snickers and hid them in our pantry.

3. Reese's cups (who is Reese and why are we giving out his cups?) are what we gave out, along with...

2. Sour Skittles. I'm not a fan of the sour candies, but kids love them. I let kids pick from my giant basket, and these were frequently chosen.

1. My kids got several of these kind of bags. Sevearl good candies wrapped up in one. While there is an unwrapping step in the middle, getting a Reese's and M&M's at the same house gives this the top ranking.

Ten Confessions, Part 2

The other day, I confessed ten things I don't do as the pastor of Oak Leaf Church. Today, let me talk about ten things I actually do. In fact, here's a PDF of my actual job description if you care to take a look.

1. I study a lot. I block off time in my calendar to study. Sometimes, I leave the office and go to Starbucks to study.

2. I lead the church. This is the big picture kind of stuff. I'm thinking through our fist financial campaign, if and where we're going to build, what kind of spiritual initiatives we need to do. I'm the big picture guy, the chart the course guy and the overall leader of this church.

3. I work hard on my teaching. For any given sermon series, I may read 6-8 different books. I study other teachers. I watch messages online and listen to podcasts - for personal growth but also for ways to become better. I read books about public speaking. I have a teaching calendar that is complete through all of 2008 and think long and hard about what I'm going to say on Sunday. I'll change up the teaching calendar based on what God is saying to me, but I take teaching very seriously. That's one of the reasons I don't do some of the things I do...so I can devote the proper amount of time to this mission.

4. I spend time with the staff. I help develop our staff as leaders and spend a good bit of time with these great people. We are a staff led church, and I want our staff to constantly be developing and growing as leaders. I try to help them dream big and accomplish their mission.

5. I read a lot of books and blogs. I'm currently tracking 54 blogs via bloglines. I try to stay up with some pastors of churches so I can stay sharp.  I read magazines and articles a lot.  I think leaders have to keep learning or we'll just dry up.

6. I think and dream and plan. I'm the big picture, dreamer guy on our staff.  I think about the question, "What if..."  Questions like, "what if we did a Sunday night service at the local bar?" I'm constantly creating plans and strategies.  I have to go through lots of good ideas until you get to the great idea.

7. I meet with key people in our church and in the community. I should be more involved in the community, and I'm trying to do more of this.  I'm asking our staff to pick up a few things so I can get more involved with local organizations like the Chamber of Commerce.

8. I take charge of our marketing and communication. Until we hire a communications director, I write most every letter that comes out from our church. I've created just about every postcard that we've sent out. I develop our marketing and branding strategy. That may change in the future, but for now, this is one of the things that I own. This is more work than most people realize, which is why I have a special place in my heart for graphics people and communications people.  I read a lot of marketing stuff and rip out cool things from design and print magazines.

9. I listen to God. In the Bible, the pastor was the shepherd...the spiritual leader. I take that pretty seriously. I know God speaks to all people...and that people don't have to go through some kind of holy man to get to God. They have direct access too. But I believe the job of a pastor is to hear from God and lead the people. It's pretty serious business. When I stand up on Sunday, I want people to know that I'm not just making up stuff or passing on something I heard from Dr. Phil or Joel Osteen. I want people to know that I've heard from God.

10. I meet with church planters. I can't do this with everyone, but I probably connect with a church planter or leader once a week. I'm humbled and honored that people would come to us for advice. We did a ton of that when we first started (still do!), so I'm happy to pass on what we've learned. That's one reason I write this blog and share our successes and failures at Behind the Leaf.

There you go. Of course, there's other crazy stuff that just comes up in my schedule, but this is what I really do week in and week out.

Friday Five - Running Songs

Sometimes, I get up early and run a few miles. Here's my top five songs that I jam to while I'm running.

1. Sweet Child of Mine. The intro to that song is the best intro to any song. Period.

2. Wild, Wild West. Wiki, wiki, wiki. Any decent running play list must include Will Smith, aka the Fresh Prince.

3. Ignition by Toby Mac. Toby Mac is about one of 10 Christian artists that has enough talent to not be a Christian artist. His latest album is full up rockin' songs and this one is great to keep you moving.

4. Reach up for the Sunshine. Old School. Duran Duran. Love that hair.

5. Since You've Been Gone. Yes. It's true. This is a Kelly Clarkson song. I'm a closet fan, but I'm coming out. Perhaps I will confess this during the Confessions of a Pastor series in November. That chick can sing, and this song can get you through at least three tenths of a mile.

Ten Confessions

As we get ready to kick of a new series called Confessions of a Pastor, I wanted to write about ten things that I don't do or don't like to do as the pastor of Oak Leaf Church. Some are philosophical - some are just my personality.

1. I don't like to do weddings. I've been known to do a wedding or two, but I have to really like you. :)

2. I don't counsel people.  It's not that I don't think it's important, or needed.  I'm just no good at it.  At all. Trust me...you don't want me to counsel you. It's not my gift and I'm not trained in the field. After listening to you for five minutes, I'd interrupt and give you a list of three things you need to do to fix the problem and send you on your way. I have several people on our staff and recommend a couple professionals, because they would do much better than me.

3. I don't know everything that happens in the church. In some churches or in small churches, the pastors knows everything. I, on the other hand, don't. We have a great staff and a great volunteer team and they handle so many thing. I don't know it all when it comes to what is happening in the church.

4. I'm probably not the person you need to talk to. My job description is pretty short - lead, teach, and develop relationships with community people. When you need something from the church, most of the time I will refer you to someone. I'm not the person that handles most things in our church.

5. I don't like to be called Pastor. I know some pastors like to be called Pastor Freddy. Though I've never met a dentist that liked to be called Dentist Harvey. Hello Teacher Melissa. Hello accountant Bob. And please, I'm probably not your brother. You can just call me Michael.

6. I don't like to talk to people. I'm actually working on this one, but I don't really like to talk to people. I kind of like to keep to myself, and it's out of my comfort zone to walk through the lobby and talk to people and meet people. I'm more comfortable in front of 1,000 people than I am in a room with five new people. Please don't jump on me for this...I'm just being honest.

7. I don't manage the money of the church. I know how much we have in the bank, how much we have in savings, and know what the budget says, but I don't handle the finances. Not only am I not good at those kind of things, I just don't want to do it. I can't sign checks or log into our online banking account.

8. I don't answer my phone on the weekends or after 6 PM. I don't have a home number and I don't give out my cell phone number to many people. After 6 and on the weekends, I'll probably only take a call from my wife or from Anthony. I will check messages and respond in the event of an emergency, but I'm not going to talk about church business 24 hours of the day. These are my self-imposed boundaries.

9. I don't visit people in the hospital. We have a network of small groups and small group leaders - that's how care and prayer happen in our church. That's one reason everyone needs to be connected to a group. When something bad happens, those people will spring into action because they know you and care about you, not because they work at a church and are paid to do it. If I come to visit you in the hospital...it's bad.

10. My wife is not the second in command or the first lady of the church. You can't get to me by getting to her. So don't try and use her as a go between or think she works at the church like I do. She doesn't lead the women's ministry or the children's ministry. She goes to church and volunteers. On Sunday morning, she's a real person, a regular person, and a mom with kids.

So there you go. You may read this list and think I'm not a real pastor. I'm sorry. You may wonder what I actually do (that list is coming soon). They say confession is good for the soul, so I figured I'd get these confessions off my chest. :)